Fall Movie Preview - Part one

Before you go to the neighborhood Cineplex or even waste your time watching trailers on line, here is my annual comprehensive Fall Movie Preview. The only thing I haven't done is seen any of these movies.

HARRY POTTER (AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS – PART 1) This long running franchise will soon be coming to an end since Daniel Radcliffe who plays Harry could soon play Dumbledore.

WALL STREET: MONEY NEVER SLEEPS – Director Oliver Stone said, “The fact that the financial crisis happened helped get this movie made”. So feel good about losing your life savings. Hollywood benefits!

127 HOURS – Directed by Danny Boyle so I’m seeing it even though it’s about a mountain climber who cuts off his own arm to free himself from a boulder. Then Richard Kimble tries to find him because he saw him kill his wife but no one believes him and… oh wait, that’s THE FUGITIVE.

BURLESQUE – Cher owns a burlesque club. “La Cage aux Facelift”.

THE TOWN – Ben Affleck stars and directs this Boston thriller. GOOD WILL HUNTING with guns and scary masks.

YOU AGAIN – High school rivals, both mothers and daughters reunite for formula studio mayhem. Betty White took time out from being in everything else to be in this.

EASY A – Teen comedy with snappy dialogue. Getting good buzz. MEAN GIRLS meets JUNO.

THE SOCIAL NETWORK – Even snappier dialogue because Aaron Sorkin wrote the screenplay. It’s the story of Facebook. Who invented it, the lawsuits. I hope it also explains how I can block people from sending me invitations. And then have them killed.

YOU’LL MEET A TALL DARK STRANGER – Woody Allen’s 746th attempt at the same movie. He's truly become the Octomom of Cinema.

WAITING FOR SUPERMAN – Documentary on public education. The Comic-con crowd is going to be really pissed about ten minutes into this movie, especially after spending allowance they could have used for Transformer accessories.

GULLIVER’S TRAVELS – The Jonathan Swift classic set in contemporary times with Jack Black. The Lilliputians aren’t terrified that they encounter a giant. It’s that it’s Jack Black.

RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE – If 3D makes people more lifelike, does it make zombies more lifeless? That’s what we’ll find out when Milla Jovovich wrassels ‘em.

LIFE AS WE KNOW IT – Hi-concept formula romcom starring formula actress Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhamel. They hate each other. But have to raise a baby together. What do you think happens? Did you say an hour of poopy jokes and then they fall in love? You’ve just saved yourself twelve dollars.

LET ME IN – Remake of Swedish cult vampire hit. Fans are outraged. Without the Volvos, what’s the point?

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2 – Anticipating this might become a franchise the studio early on wisely signed all the ghosts to three sequels.

THE COMPANY MEN – Ben Affleck as workaholic who gets fired and must work for less pay. The heartbreak of financial ruin directed by billionaire John Wells.

The Fall Movie Preview concludes tomorrow.